Is Lee Scott Running for President?

It’s the National Retail Federation’s conference today. It’s Monday. It’s 8:30 in the a.m. And it just got weird.

In lieu of a broad retrospective of the worst holiday season for retail in recent memory, the conference opened strong, literally, with two hulking gymnasts balancing each other in what can only be presumed as ‘Cirque du Retail’. Perhaps it was a metaphor for the precipitous situation retailers find themselves in today, akin to balancing on another human being at the Javits Center.

As one would expect, Lee Scott, the CEO of Wal-Mart, then hops on the stage. Did he discuss retailing? No. But it’s hard to blame him standing next to the human nonsequitor pre-breakfast.

Scott, in a now predictably mind-boggling move, was talking politics. He spoke for US. “They’re tired of Republican versus Democrat,” he said about the general population, not the acrobats. “And liberal versus conservative.”

More quotes: “We have a responsibility to society.” “We need to tackle the right issues.” “The hard questions rarely get asked during the good times.”

So we guess our question is: Should Lee Scott have ran for president? Ringleader?

We would have liked to hear more about something that we can’t see everywhere else on television. Lee Scott, please tell us about the economy!!!

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10 Responses to “Is Lee Scott Running for President?”


  1. 1 Jonathan King January 12, 2009 at 4:41 pm

    What in the Hell did I just finish reading? Was there a point to be made from your efforts? Does someone really give you money in exchange for articles and opinions such as the above? I think we all would like to see something a bit more insightful rather than the same old half effort thought fragments from someone who seems to have little to no grasp on the field in which their job is focused.

  2. 2 iritter January 12, 2009 at 5:38 pm

    Well, we guess our observations about the weirdness of that whole event didn’t exactly translate well for everyone.

  3. 3 Tavis Bohlinger January 12, 2009 at 5:44 pm

    I would love to have your job. Do you work from home?

  4. 4 Leslie Resnik January 13, 2009 at 9:56 am

    People, where’s your sense of humor? Blogs are OPINIONS – you know, the kinds of thoughts that our form of government thrives upon and that today’s economic bleakness demands. (And yes, you’re entitled to yours regarding what Ian has to say. But he’s entitled to his as well and I for one, who wasn’t there, am intersted in his take because he is a respected journalist unlike so many bloggers who express themselves so poorly in blog form. But I digress.)

    Had I been at the conference, I too would have wanted some relevant information re: what’s going on in retail and how do you, Mr. Scott, big honcho that you are, see retail’s future going forward.

    Keep blogging, Ian, and earning your salary, rightfully.

  5. 5 CEOsCircusBarker January 13, 2009 at 11:29 am

    CEO’s are notorious for obfuscating the real issues when they’re trying to protect their stock price. Why in the world would he focus on the real numbers at this moment. Better to continue the song and dance and hope the focus moves to something else, like, politics. You know the old saying, “If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle ’em with bullsh!t.”

    What I really find ironic is the CEO of Walmart spouting “We have a social responsibility to society” when they have such a horrendous track record as a community Stakeholder, on all levels.

  6. 6 EP January 13, 2009 at 11:31 am

    Am I the only one who enjoyed the sarcasm in this article? Keep ’em coming Ian.

  7. 7 TeenyTiny January 13, 2009 at 11:40 am

    He’s not running for President, He’s auditioning for Mary Poppins:

    Mary Poppins:
    When trying to express oneself, it’s frankly quite absurd,
    To leaf through lengthy lexicons to find the perfect word.
    A little spontaniaty keeps conversation keen,
    You need to find a way to say, precisely what you mean…

    Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
    Even though the sound of it is something quite atrosicous!
    If you say it loud enough, you’ll always sound precocious,

    Ensemble:
    Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
    Um-diddle-diddle-um-diddleye
    Um-diddle-diddle-um-diddleye

    Mary Poppins:
    When Stone Age men were chatting, merely grunting would suffice.

    Bert:
    Now if they heard this word, they might have used it once or twice!

    Mrs. Corry:
    I’m sure Egyptian pharoahs would have grasped it in a jiff,
    Then every single pyramid would bear this hieroglyph;

    Oh!
    Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
    Say it and wild animals would not seem so ferocious!

    Mary Poppins:
    Add some further flourishes, it’s so ro-co-co-coscious!

    Ensemble:
    Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
    Um-diddle-diddle-um-diddleye
    Um-diddle-diddle-um-diddleye
    Um-diddle-diddle-um-diddleye
    Um-diddle-diddle-um-diddleye

    Bert:
    The Druids could have carved it on their mighty monoliths!

    Mrs. Corry:
    I’m certain the ancient Greeks would have used it in their midst!

    Mary Poppins:
    I’m sure the Roman Empire only entered the abyss,
    Because those Latin scholars never had a word like this!

    Ensemble:
    Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

    Mary Poppins:
    If you say it softly the effect can be hypnoscious!

    Bert:
    Check your breath before you speak, in case it’s halitotious!

    Ensemble:
    Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
    Um-diddle-diddle-um-diddleye
    Um-diddle-diddle-um-diddleye
    Um-diddle-diddle-um-diddleye
    Um-diddle-diddle-um-diddleye

    Mary Poppins (spoken):
    Of course you can say it backwards, which is Suoicodilaipxecitsiligarfilacrepus!

    Michael (spoken):
    She may be tricky, but she’s bloody good!

    Mary Poppins:
    So when the cat has got your tongue, there’s no need for dismay!
    Just summon up this word and then you’ve got a lot to say!

    Bert:
    Pick out those eighteen consonants and sixteen vowels as well,
    And put them in an order which is very hard to spell…

    Mary Poppins:
    S-u-p-e-r
    C-a-l-i-f-
    R-a-g-i-l-

    Jane and Michael:
    I-s-t-i-c-e-x-p-i-a-l-i-d-o-c-i-o-u-s!

    Ensemble:
    S-u-p-e-r
    C-a-l-i-f-
    R-a-g-i-l-
    I-s-t-i-c-e-x-p-i-a-l-i-d-o-c-i-o-u-s!

    S-u-p-e-r
    C-a-l-i-f-
    R-a-g-i-l-
    I-s-t-i-c-e-x-p-i-a-l-i-d-o-c-i-o-u-s!

    S-u-p-e-r
    C-a-l-i-f-
    R-a-g-i-l-
    I-s-t-i-c-e-x-p-i-a-l-i-d-o-c-i-o-u-s!

    Bert (spoken):
    Here we go!

    Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
    Even though the sound of it is something quite atroscious!
    If you say it loud enough, you’ll always sound precocious,
    Supercalifragilistic-

    Jane and Michael:
    Supercalifragilistic-

    Ensemble:
    Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
    Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

  8. 8 Don Papi Cassano January 13, 2009 at 2:40 pm

    Ian, keep up the great work, it is obvious from the length of your blog to the content that you got as much out of that presentation and meeting as the speaker who presented it. (a lot of nothing) You can only blog what your given for material to write about. You were right on target any more info would have been BS. When speakers speak about nothing and share nothing then all in all their are either in politics or about to be.

    Don Papi Cassano

  9. 9 climberX January 13, 2009 at 8:02 pm

    Dear Jonathon King,

    From what i can tell you got the point, even reiterated it for him, but are apparently too dense to see it. I’m sure we all do.

    Ian essentially wrote:

    “What the hell did I just finish seeing and hearing?!?”

    You wrote:

    “What the hell did I just finish reading?!?”

    Exactly his point, Mr. King.

    Sincerely,

    ClimberX

    P.S. If you are still confused — and I’m quite sure you are — don’t fret, It’ll come to you on the toilet in a week or two. Oh, and make sure you get up and walk around every little while so your legs don’t fall asleep in the meantime.

  10. 10 MadMen January 14, 2009 at 3:29 pm

    And for Lee Scott’s final persuasive point:

    “Step right up, Hurry, Hurry, Hurry. Be one to say I saw WalMart in all its glory:

    ‘Walmart, the HEAD of an American Corporation, and the BODY of a Horrible, Horrible, Chinese Dragon.’

    That’s right, I said,

    The HEAD of an American Corporation, and the BODY of a Horrible, Horrible, Chinese Dragon.”


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